F*ck the Academy.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let’s reflect on the travesty that is the sick reality in which we live where Leonardo DiCaprio does not have an Oscar. If that sentence alone doesn’t boil your blood, consider for a moment the fact that Jennifer Hudson does. Sandra Bullock, too.
Now, on to this year’s nominations. Bradley Cooper (who rightfully used to bellhop Leo’s bags up to his hotel room) has somehow scored a Best Actor nom. Same goes for that Hunger Games chick in the Best Actress category. As for Leo… Well, according to the Academy (rolls eyes), Mr. Dicaprio (who, let’s be real, is one of the most consistent, talented, and hard-working actors of his generation) is not in the same league as the aforementioned performers. The man who’s lost his wife in at least three of his films, played Johnny Depp’s mentally challenged younger brother in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?, a historical figure with severe OCD in The Aviator, a drug-addicted teen in The Basketball Diaries, and (most recently) an inexplicably evil plantation owner in Django Unchained, is allegedly not on par acting-wise with Bradley Cooper from The Hangover. I don’t know which Academy members’ wife Leo slept with (because, again, let’s be real, that’s the only plausible explanation at this point), but damn, can the guy catch a break?
Final thought: If, God forbid, Cooper is awarded an Oscar before Leo, I swear on my Titanic DVD that I’ll never watch the Academy Awards again.
This is what happens when an actor takes himself too seriously.
I’m referring to Zac Efron’s acceptance speech at last week’s People’s Choice Awards. Whoever decides these things chose to name Efron this year’s Favourite Movie Star Under 25. Ignore the fact that nobody watches the People’s Choice Awards. And ignore the fact that Efron was named anyone’s (let alone “the people’s”) favourite anything under 25. These are discussions for another day. We’re here to talk about his voice. Video below.
Get a load of that drawl. For those of you who’ve never heard Efron speak before, no, he doesn’t normally sound like that. Dude was born and raised in California, not Louisiana, where, indecently, he spent the last few months filming Hollywood’s latest movie to be based off of a Nicolas Sparks novel, The Lucky One. His character’s from the South so the only logical explanation I can find for this fuckery is that Efron’s gone Method. For a Nicolas Sparks movie of all things. SMH.
And what the hell kind of speech was that? Remember where you are, Zac. Or is that asking too much since, evidently, you can’t even remember where you’re from?
I hope he’s just trolling.
To quote a sassy gay classmate of mine: “It’s officially my favourite time of year: Oscar season.” Preach it, brother. Preach.
The lead-up to the 83rd
Annual Academy Awards informally began — as always — with the Golden Globe nominations, announced by Katie Holmes and Josh Duhamel (of all people) last month. As everybody knows by now, films that score big at the Globes typically go on to be nominated at the Oscars a month later, rendering the show somewhat of a dress rehearsal, if you will, for the Big Night. Consequently, the Globes are a less stuffy affair than the Oscars, what with the celebs openly “eating” dinner and poppin’ champagne throughout the night’s proceedings and all. If you couldn’t already guess, free bottle service + an open mike + a room full of celebs = good times for all (but more so for those of us watching at home since we
won’t have to relive our own public humiliation via YouTube for the rest of our lives). Who can forget Ricky Gervais’ perfectly executed roast-worthy jab
at Mel Gibson at last year’s ceremony? Or Brendan Fraser’s herp derp “clap”
? I won’t anytime soon.
But beyond the drunken shenanigans and designer gowns, the Globes and subsequent Oscars are, of course, nights to celebrate the institution of film. This is why for the past two years, I’ve actively set out to join in on the fun by watching as many of the nominated films as I can – if only to have something/someone to cheer for when the envelope’s read. It’s more exciting that way…having your own “horse in the race” so to speak. For instance, I was happy as hell when Sean Penn won Best Actor for Milk in ’08, and annoyed as fuck when Slumdog Millionaire won Best Everything Else — I honestly didn’t/don’t think it was/is that great. Sue Me.
Of the films nominated for Globes this year, I’ve only watched 4.5 of them so far (127 Hours bored me, ok?). I hope to make it 5.5 when Blue Valentine FINALLY comes out this weekend, but ‘til then, here are my thoughts on the others:
The Social Network (Best Motion Picture, Drama; Best Director; Best Actor; Best Supporting Actor; Best Screenplay; Best Original Score): Everyone and their mother seemed to love TSN and I. JUST. DON’T. GET. IT. Don’t misunderstand me – the movie was good, yes, but…Oscar good? Fuuuck no. To me, it was no better or worse than your average…let’s say…Wall Street 2. That movie obviously didn’t get nominated – so why the hell should this? Movies honoured at this level usually possess some sort of emotional complexity to them that permeates the screen and awakens within the viewer a newfound sense of self and/or mankind. TSN is a flick about a post-secondary bromance gone wrong set against a back-drop of Harvard dorm rooms and frat parties. Its premise may be culturally relevant but emotionally, it’s hollow. I won’t even comment on Justin “I act now” Timberlake.
I will, however, applaud director David Fincher for that cinematically flawless regatta sequence. It’s not enough to get me to back his nom for Best Director, but I give him extra props on the song choice.
Inception (Best Motion Picture, Drama; Best Director; Best Screenplay; Best Original Score): Now here’s a set of nominations I can get with. Inception was the proverbial needle in the haystack of lackluster films released last summer. It’s #2 on my list of best films of the year. What can I say about it that hasn’t already been said? The actors, effects, concept — all impeccable. And that score. If Zimmer doesn’t win…if (God forbid) it goes to TSN…I don’t know what I’ll do. That soundtrack got me through last semester’s finals. I’ll leave it at that.
Toy Story 3 (Best Animated Feature Film):
It has to win, it just has to. TS3
is my #1 film of 2010 and if you’re thinking that seems like a weird thing for a person over the age of 8 to say, you’re either biased, stupid, or the Prince of Darkness himself. Once again, Pixar shits all over the competition with what is possibly the best film in the (already flawless) Toy Story
franchise. The film literally has no faults. Beyond its immaculate animation is a timeless story that speaks so clearly to the child in all of us, grown men leave the theater weeping.* Just ask Adam Levine
. An emotional roller-coaster, TS3
deserves every accolade it receives and then some. If it doesn’t get nominated for Best Picture at the end of the month, the Academy will officially be dead to me. Dead, I tell you.
*Side note: You know something’s amiss when a film about a group of toys displays more emotional depth and is truer to the human condition than a movie about actual people (Re: The Social Network).
Black Swan (Best Motion Picture, Drama; Best Director; Best Actress; Best Supporting Actress): Regardless of what I say about this one, it will win BIG at both ceremonies this year. Trust me. It’s pure, unadulterated, Oscar bait — maybe even to a fault. My personal sentiment is this: Black Swan is creepy as hell. At times, it’s hard to watch. The copious amounts of self harm and dark imagery coupled with the film’s hair-raising score results in a sensory overload that makes it impossible for the viewer to RELAX. You’ll be thinking about it weeks afterward. Natalie’s performance was good — though slightly one-dimensional — and Mila’s effortless in her role as the main character’s eventual nemesis. Black Swan’s not my personal pick this season, but I’ll credit Aronofsky with creating a memorable film.