My Favourite Looks from the 2013 Golden Globes

While I, in reality, am not a fashion connoisseur by any means, I like to sometimes pretend that I actually know what I’m talking about when it comes to who killed it on the red carpet of whichever award show happens to be relevant at the moment.  At this particular moment, that award show is obviously the Golden Globes, and there were definitely a few looks that (in my admittedly unqualified opinion) deserve recognition.  Courtesy of Getty Images, those looks, in no particular order, are:

1. Jennifer Lopez

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Jennifer Lopez wore the sh*t out of this dress by Zuhair Murad.  The fabric hugs her famous curves, creating what I can only describe as being a “bombshell” look.  I’ve read some critiques regarding the sheerness of the dress but like…this is Jlo we’re talking about.  Wearing sheer dresses is what she does best.  Also, her hair and makeup are on Point with a capital “P” (but then again, aren’t they always?).

2. Leonardo Dicaprio

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I think Leo looks great here.  Better than he’s looked in a while.  The dark hair is a good look for him, as was his decision to wear Tom Ford (who, as A Single Man showed us all, is incapable of designing a sub-par men’s suit).

3. Amanda Seyfried

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I adore how ethereal Amanda Seyfried looked in this Givenchy number. Her decision to opt for minimal makeup complimented the tone set by the dress and her cascading locks (which somehow never cease to look absolutely flawless).

4. Kate Hudson

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It’s all about the Cleopatra-esque collar with Kate Hudson’s Alexander McQueen dress. Love it.  The one qualm I have with her entire look here is her hair which, in my opinion, should have been up so that us viewers at home could have fully appreciated the regal quality being served by McQueen’s creation.

5. Ben Affleck

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I absolutely love the cut of Ben Affleck’s suit jacket (which is apparently Gucci).  His choice to opt for navy (or is it royal?) blue was also a nice change from the predictable black tuxes that always grace the red carpet.  Paired with the beard, he’s giving me Old Hollywood vibes which is always (and I mean alwaysa good thing.

6. Anne Hathaway

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I wasn’t surprised in the least to read that Anne Hathaway’s dress is Chanel (Chanel Haute Couture to be exact).  It just screams Chanel (doesn’t it?) with its simple sophistication. Somehow, I feel like her pickie-cut actually serves to uplift the sophistication of the dress even more.  As such, I can’t find a single fault in her entire look.

As for the ceremony itself, the highlight, to me, was what Kristen Wigg and Will Ferrell did in the video below.  I’ve re-watched their shenanigans at least five times since the footage was posted online and cried with laughter every single time.

Why They Gotta Do My Baby Leo Like That?

F*ck the Academy.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let’s reflect on the travesty that is the sick reality in which we live where Leonardo DiCaprio does not have an Oscar.  If that sentence alone doesn’t boil your blood, consider for a moment the fact that Jennifer Hudson does.  Sandra Bullock, too.

Now, on to this year’s nominations.  Bradley Cooper (who rightfully used to bellhop Leo’s bags up to his hotel room) has somehow scored a Best Actor nom.  Same goes for that Hunger Games chick in the Best Actress category.  As for Leo… Well, according to the Academy (rolls eyes), Mr. Dicaprio (who, let’s be real, is one of the most consistent, talented, and hard-working actors of his generation) is not in the same league as the aforementioned performers.  The man who’s lost his wife in at least three of his films, played Johnny Depp’s mentally challenged younger brother in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?, a historical figure with severe OCD in The Aviator, a drug-addicted teen in The Basketball Diaries, and (most recently) an inexplicably evil plantation owner in Django Unchained, is allegedly not on par acting-wise with Bradley Cooper from The Hangover.  I don’t know which Academy members’ wife Leo slept with (because, again, let’s be real, that’s the only plausible explanation at this point), but damn, can the guy catch a break?

Final thought:  If, God forbid, Cooper is awarded an Oscar before Leo, I swear on my Titanic DVD that I’ll never watch the Academy Awards again.

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I’m the blues in your left thigh… trying to become the funk in your right

I was curled up in bed the other night watching the latest episode of VH1’s Single Ladies when Stacey Dash’s character, Val, made reference to a film called Love Jones, touting it as the obviously superior choice of movie entertainment over Blades of Glory for her night in with her man. A quick curiosity-fuelled search on Google led me to a slew of positive reviews for the 1997 film, including one that called it a “cult classic” for African Americans. Between that grandiose statement and Roger Ebert’s review calling the film “smarter” than your average romantic flick, is it a wonder that I sat down to watch Love Jones already cynical? Something so hyped was sure to disappoint, no?

Au contraire, Love Jones is indeed all that and quite frankly, more. Why? Well, there are many reasons, but like with any successful film built on the premise of a romantic relationship, the bulk of the credit has to go to the film’s two leads (after all, a good script can only go so far).  In this case, actors Larenz Tate and Nia Long manage to bring this particular love story to life with an authenticity rarely seen onscreen. Tate plays Darius Lovehall, a smooth-talking, poetry-spouting, jazz-listening type of dude who says things like “When people that have been together for a long time say the romance is gone, what they’re really saying is that they’ve exhausted the possibility,” all while fixing you with a deep stare and taking a seductive drag off his cigarette. Long, on the other hand, plays Nina Mosley, an aspiring photographer who’s just gotten out of a long-term relationship with Darnell from Girlfriends (a.k.a. Khalil Kain) and is in the process of moving out of their previously shared apartment.

When these two creative minds meet one night at a poetry slam, Darius steps up to the mic and, by all accounts, lays his swag on thick as he recites a poem “he’d like to call… ‘A Blues For Nina'” to Long’s character across the smoke-filled room. Therein lies the title of this post. Video below.

Unfortunately, Darius’ little stunt fails to impress Nina in the way he’d hoped. It’s all that overt “sex talk” that’s got her rolling her eyes. Sex is great and all, she says, but… what about love? And that’s the underlying question throughout Love Jones as Darius and Nina illustrate for us (against a backdrop of smooth jazz stylings) how two twenty-somethings navigate their way from just “kickin’ it” to being “the one” the other’s been searching for. Theirs is a love story so artistically and emotionally rich, you’ll find yourself appreciating the nuanced performances given by Tate and Long more and more with each viewing.All necessary evidence lies in Nina and Darius’ first date.  Video below.  See the awkward distance they keep as they walk together down the street? The goofy smiles and childlike flirtation that bounce between them as they discuss Sanchez and Mozart? How about the total cuteness that ensues when the two get their “bump and grind” on at the Wild Hare?  The chemistry absolutely radiates off these two — so much so that Nina’s decision to “go out like that on the first date” seems reasonable if not inevitable considering the circumstance (i.e. him being Darius Lovehall/Larenz Tate and all).  Get it, girl.

Titanic, what? The Notebook, who?

What Can You Say About a Legend?

A more appropriate question has perhaps never been asked about Elizabeth Taylor.
Eight marriages, violet eyes, and “White Diamonds” aside, the woman was a humanitarian, mother, and film icon in the way they don’t make film icons anymore.  It goes without saying that the world is a sadder and (might I add) less glamorous place without her.
While I attempt to formulate something in the way of a passable literary tribute to Ms. Taylor in time for TCM’s 24-hour marathon of her films on Sunday April 10th (beginning at 6 am ET/PT), here’s what Paul Newman (who is also missed) had to say when he was asked to speak about his dear friend, Elizabeth, for the channel a few years back:

Rest in peace, Dame Elizabeth.  You were one hell of a woman.

Is He Trolling Us?

This is what happens when an actor takes himself too seriously.
I’m referring to Zac Efron’s acceptance speech at last week’s People’s Choice Awards.  Whoever decides these things chose to name Efron this year’s Favourite Movie Star Under 25.  Ignore the fact that nobody watches the People’s Choice Awards.  And ignore the fact that Efron was named anyone’s (let alone “the people’s”) favourite anything under 25.  These are discussions for another day.  We’re here to talk about his voice.  Video below.
Get a load of that drawl.  For those of you who’ve never heard Efron speak before, no, he doesn’t normally sound like that.  Dude was born and raised in California, not Louisiana, where, indecently, he spent the last few months filming Hollywood’s latest movie to be based off of a Nicolas Sparks novel, The Lucky One.   His character’s from the South so the only logical explanation I can find for this fuckery is that Efron’s gone Method.  For a Nicolas Sparks movie of all things.  SMH.
And what the hell kind of speech was that?  Remember where you are, Zac.  Or is that asking too much since, evidently, you can’t even remember where you’re from?
I hope he’s just trolling.