Why They Gotta Do My Baby Leo Like That?

F*ck the Academy.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let’s reflect on the travesty that is the sick reality in which we live where Leonardo DiCaprio does not have an Oscar.  If that sentence alone doesn’t boil your blood, consider for a moment the fact that Jennifer Hudson does.  Sandra Bullock, too.

Now, on to this year’s nominations.  Bradley Cooper (who rightfully used to bellhop Leo’s bags up to his hotel room) has somehow scored a Best Actor nom.  Same goes for that Hunger Games chick in the Best Actress category.  As for Leo… Well, according to the Academy (rolls eyes), Mr. Dicaprio (who, let’s be real, is one of the most consistent, talented, and hard-working actors of his generation) is not in the same league as the aforementioned performers.  The man who’s lost his wife in at least three of his films, played Johnny Depp’s mentally challenged younger brother in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?, a historical figure with severe OCD in The Aviator, a drug-addicted teen in The Basketball Diaries, and (most recently) an inexplicably evil plantation owner in Django Unchained, is allegedly not on par acting-wise with Bradley Cooper from The Hangover.  I don’t know which Academy members’ wife Leo slept with (because, again, let’s be real, that’s the only plausible explanation at this point), but damn, can the guy catch a break?

Final thought:  If, God forbid, Cooper is awarded an Oscar before Leo, I swear on my Titanic DVD that I’ll never watch the Academy Awards again.

leo

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